


The Truth

by codewordpumpkin



Category: The Blacklist (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-18 02:28:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18111407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codewordpumpkin/pseuds/codewordpumpkin
Summary: AU on 5x22 (Sutton Ross): It's not a stunt when Sutton takes Liz hostage, and the FBI does not burst in on time to interrupt Red's confession.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For the purpose of this fic, Liz knew Red was not her father from the moment she asked in s1 and he replied with "no" (or she knew from the moment she met him, let's be real).

She was in danger because of him. 

Again.

"Your life for hers."

He'd be the one to save her life.

Always.

"Done."

* * *

 There she was, her hands and feet bound to a flimsy, metal chair. Her hair was messy and her face was bloodied and yet still- 

-Still, she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on.

_How sick was he?_

"Elizabeth." His voice sounded like he'd swallowed broken glass, and his chest felt as if he were choking on it. "Are you all right? 

"Red," she sighed softly, as if his name brought her both pain and comfort, "you shouldn't have come."

He'd laugh if he thought he were able, because what a silly thing to say. Absurd, really.  

"Lizzie," he shook his head, "I'll always come for you."

 She smiled a smile that was more of a grimace, the corners of her lips twitching downward. "This is my fault."

"No."

"I should've just let it go."

"Doesn't matter."

"How can you say that?" she snapped, tears now freely flowing down her cheeks, spreading diluted trails of crimson across the pale canvas of her skin. "Mr. Kaplan, Tom - we all should've just left it alone. They didn't because they thought I deserved to know, but I don't." It was her turn to shake her head. "Whatever this is, it's yours. I should have respected that. The only reason we're here is because I didn't. And I'm-" her voice broke, "I'm so sorry. Red, I'm so, so sorry."

_How could **she** say that?_

None of this was her fault. 

This wasn't caused by  _her_ curiosity or  _her_ obsession - but  _his._

_I'm sorry you wanted to know her so desperately that you convinced yourself we could keep her safe._

This was because he couldn't let her go.

"You have nothing to apologize for. Not to me, ever."

_Didn't she see that it was **he** who should be apologizing? Begging for her forgiveness?_

_He'd spend the rest of his days on his knees in front of her if only she allowed him to._

At that moment, Ross entered, and if looks could kill, the man would have died on the spot.

"My life for hers. That was the agreement. Let her go." 

He surprised even himself, the way he managed to pull himself together.

Firm.

Focused.

Determined.

_His life for hers._

"No need to fret, Reddington. I won't kill her," Sutton cooed, smirking. "Whether or not she suffers, however, is entirely up to you. Or should I say, how much she suffers." When Red's only response was a glare that could burn and a jaw that could shatter, he continued, "So the quicker you tell me what I want to know, the less damage I will do to her. Let's start with this DNA report."

* * *

_tbc...._


	2. Chapter 2

“So, the DNA report. Tell me what it means.”

Red ground his teeth. “If I tell, what guarantee do I have that you’ll let her go?”

”The only guarantee you have is that, if you don’t tell me, she will die. Of course, perhaps you don’t care about that. Perhaps her life isn’t worth revealing your precious secret for. After all, what is she to you, really?”

_What was she to him?_

_Everything._

“Still not in the mood to talk?” Ross tilted his head, inspecting Red with narrowed eyes before— “Perhaps this will inspire you.”

Seemingly out of nowhere, a knife appeared in his hand. In one swift motion, he stabbed Liz’s left thigh until only the hilt was visible. Her scream echoed throughout the cold warehouse, and it was as if the blood dripping to the floor was coming straight from Red himself, his face as pale as when he’d gotten shot in the chest. Just as quickly, Ross yanked it back out, the action punctuated by a choked sob and a fresh gush of crimson.

“Enough,” Red managed to grit out.

”Tell me the truth.”

Liz frantically shook her head, trying to gain his attention.

If she were in better condition, she’d know that his gaze never once left her. 

“No, Red.” Her breaths were growing shallow, and sweat trickled down her skin to mix with her tears. “I’m okay.”

But he knew that to be a lie. 

She was not okay.

_None of this was okay._

~~~~Ross cut off their silent communication. “The truth!” he hissed, grinding the sole of his shoe into her wet, throbbing wound.

Liz was clenching her jaw so tightly, Red was afraid she’d break her teeth. 

Here she was, stabbed in the leg, and he was worrying about her teeth.

”Don’t—“ 

Ross backhanded her, snapping her mouth shut as she bit back a pained groan. “If you do not tell me what I want to hear within the next five seconds,” he paused to make a shallow cut at the base of her throat, collecting the beads of blood on the blade of his knife before wiping it against her slick cheek, “I  _will_ kill her.”

Red believed him.

”Five...” Ross brought the knife back to her throat, rested it just above her collarbone. “Four...” He added just the slightest pressure. “Three...” His voice became louder, nearly manic. She whimpered when he dug in deeper, her skin slicing open. 

_Enough._

“The truth? The truth is I am not Raymond Reddington.”

* * *

TBC. Next chapter will probably be the last!


	3. Chapter 3

_"The truth is, I am not Raymond Reddington."_

_What?_

Surely, Liz had heard him wrong, what with the shock and the blood loss. Or, even more likely, Red was just playing him, because that's what Raymond Reddington does, isn't it? He plays games. He manipulates. _He does whatever he feels he has to do to save Elizabeth Keen's life._

So, what was it he had to do?

Truth or lie?

Ross positively cackled. "Ah, now-"

"On the ground! FBI!"

Everything happened at once: gunshots, explosions, Sutton Ross writhing on the ground, Raymond -  _Raymond Reddington_  watching Elizabeth Keen's world fall apart.

As soon as Dembe untied Red's restraints, he rushed over to Liz and hugged her. He didn't say anything, just stroked her hair, pressed kisses against her temple. It might have been because of the stab wound in her thigh, or quite possibly the zip-ties keeping her in place, but whatever the cause or reason, she stayed still, let him embrace her, allowed him to act as if he didn't just make the single most significant revelation in all of the six years she had known him. 

_The truth is, I am not Raymond Reddington._

Cooper walked up to them. "SWAT is on the way. You can't be here."

"Raymond," Dembe said quietly.

"I've got her. Go."

Breathing her in one last time, Red turned away from her and went straight to the abandoned duffel bag, zipped it up, and on his way to the exit, with a gun Liz isn't sure how or when he acquired, he delivered three swift bullets into Ross's chest.

It was as if he shot her.

Because as soon as Ross's eyes drifted shut, so did hers.

* * *

Okay, I lied - this is not the last chapter. But the next one will be (I'm pretty sure. I think?)!

 


	4. Chapter 4

Surprisingly, nothing hurt.

Not sure what to expect, she slowly opened her eyes, thankful that the lights were dim enough to not blind her in that moment. She knew right away that she was lying in a hospital bed, the rhythmic beeping and the IV in her arm being tell-tale signs of the fact. But before she could cast fleeting glances around the room - though, as a field agent in the FBI, she was now more than familiar - a voice caught her attention.

 _His_ voice.

_But who is he, really?_

"Elizabeth." 

Funny, she didn't even realize her hand was in his until that instant. 

She had grown so used to the sensation - his warm grip, gentle yet firm, and the feeling of safety that only he could provide - that it no longer felt foreign.

"How are you feeling?""

His eyes were zeroed in on her own, intent and unwavering, as if trying to read her mind. His jacket was off, his vest unbuttoned, and the way he was looking at her - like she was his entire world and everything that mattered depended on her answer...

_But it was all a lie._

"I don't know what to feel anymore," she said, her voice coming out as hoarse whisper, weak, tired. Broken.

His face was blank, save for a twitch beneath his eye. "Are you in pain?"

"Yes."

_Though it wasn't her leg that was hurting._

He frowned, concern denting the space between his brows. "Would you like me to call a nurse?"

"No," she shook her head, "I want you to give me an answer - the truth."

The twitch reappeared. 

Biting the inside of his cheek, he took a moment to respond. "What's the question?"

"Who are you?"

* * *

Okay, next chapter is going to be the final chapter (for real this time). I wanted this to be the last one, but I wanted to break it off here, and I also wanted to post an update - hence, this. 

Hope you guys liked it anyway!

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

_"Who are you?"_

He shook his head. "Lizzie-"

"No," she snapped. "Tell me who you are."

Physically, she felt drained, but her eyes held a fire that Red could not escape unscathed. 

The twitch in his left cheek was back - a record, surely. "I'm whoever you need me to be."

"Don't," she said, her voice cracking. Taking a shaky breath, she blinked away the tears gathering in her eyes. "You're not Raymond Reddington."

A pause. Two.

"No," he sighed, that one word both heavy and freeing, "I am not."

"You said you were in my life because of my father," she said slowly, making sure he knew where she was going with this. "Was he... Was Raymond Reddington my father?"

The silence that followed her question went on for so long that she was beginning to think he wouldn't ever give her an answer. She watched his jaw work furiously and his teeth dig into his lower lip, his inner cheek. The green of his eyes was now a wet moss, and swirling inside was a mess of emotions she couldn't begin to decipher. 

So, she waited - for how long, she couldn't say, but enough time passed for a noticeable tension to settle in her skull, for the pain medication to begin to wear off. A burning ache was beginning to settle in her thigh, but she kept her face blank, the only sign of her discomfort evident in the whites of her knuckles. 

Then...

Finally...

"Yes." 

* * *

Liz couldn't help the whimper that escaped her. Tears streamed down her cheeks as her face crumpled, and the beeping in the room went from steady to erratic. Her body was closing in on itself, and she was struggling to breathe. 

"Lizzie," Red leaned in toward her, panic lacing his previously gruff tone, "Elizabeth, breathe. Just breathe."

She shook her head, grasping the spot above her heart with a tight fist. "I - I can't-"

"You can." He cradled her face with both of his hands, his thumbs swiping at her salty skin. "Breathe with me," he shushed, exaggerating his breaths for her to follow. "Everything is going to be all right."

Eventually, her breathing slowed, and a familiar exhaustion began to settle into her bones. "Everything was a lie," she began to speak quietly, her voice just barely a whisper. It was getting difficult for her to keep her eyes open, so she used that as an excuse to look down, away from his intense, steady gaze. "All those times you protected me, kept me safe, provided comfort... It wasn't because you cared for me, because I was  _special_..." Her throat was getting tighter and tighter, and it was painful to squeeze these words out - impossible not to wince when she spoke, her voice catching on almost every word. "It was because of my father." She finally met his eyes, surprised to find that they were as wet as her own. "Because of guilt. Obligation."

"No," he choked, that single syllable a mere rumble in his chest. "No, Lizzie."

She didn't say anything, unable to believe him.

With the sides of her face still cradled between his palms, he kept his grip just firm enough to hold her still, wanting - no, needing - to make sure he had her full attention. "All those years I spent worrying about you, fancying myself your guardian angel... making sure you were happy, healthy, provided for,  _safe_... That was out of guilt and obligation. But Lizzie," he shook his head, the action almost jerky, " _guilt and obligation_ is  _not_ why I am here now, in your life, unable to leave you even after all the pain I have caused you, all the death and destruction I have brought into your world."

"Why are you here, Red?" she asked with a trembling voice, hating herself for needing this affirmation. 

He tilted his head the way he always seemed to do only with her - the signature move that never failed to send a flutter to her stomach - and quirked his lips into a soft, almost self-deprecating smirk, as if he was privy to some inside joke that left him both amused and sad. 

"Because I love you, Elizabeth."

* * *

 

**Okay, this is the true end, I think! Thank you guys so much for the kudos! I hope you enjoyed this short fic, and I hope to write more in the near future!**

 


End file.
